I didn’t give my kid Easter eggs (and people had opinions)

Rachel Corbett: 00:00:02

Hello there. My very best post Easter holiday wishes to you from a mother who didn't give their kid any chocolate.

And this has really got me wondering if I'm not doing things right. You get a lot of judgment when you're not giving your kids chocolate.

I gotta say, I've just been really quite surprised by that because if you said to me, even if your kid was like 15, and you were like, no, I don't give them chocolate, or they don't, we don't have lollies in the house or whatever, I'd be like, oh, cool, no worries. Would not give it a second thought because I don't actually eat a lot of crap.

I found out, which was early: 2000

Like, now you walk down there, it's like, I mean, what can't you get? Nothing. You go out to a restaurant, you ask them for soy milk, they're like, please, soy milk. We've got nine other types of milk you can choose from.

When I used to go out and ask for a cup of tea with soy milk, people used to laugh at me. So I have for years been a pretty clean, healthy eater. And my life has honestly been so much better for it.

I don't give two hoots what other people eat. Somebody could be sitting down, eating a hamburger and crap every single day. I'm like, your choice, mate. Your choice, your life, your choice.

If you feel good on that, that's so fine. Like, it doesn't matter. Everybody's got their own relationship with food. I used to be utterly terrible with food.

Like, I never used to be able to say no to food. I can remember actually having real mental gymnastics sessions with myself where I would get so angry at myself for not being able to say no.

Like, I was a serious overeater and I just could never say no to things. And then interestingly, I mean, people that know me now would be so surprised to know that about me.

I also, I also have to admit that that was during what many of my friends know as my sad years when things were not so fantastic.

But once I kind of found out that I couldn't eat those two things, gluten and dairy, and I started to shift my diet around that, my God, I was like, holy crap, is this what I was supposed to feel like, it was just an utter game changer for me. So all that's to say, I have a pretty healthy household. It's not overly healthy. I'm not over the top about things.

Like, I just feel that if you eat everything in moderation and you're healthy and you're doing exercise, well, then I'll have treats and do things. I mean, my treats are probably a little bit more lame than other people's treats, but I'm also not a massive sweet tooth.

Like, anybody that knows me knows that you put down a charcuterie board or some kind of savory situation in front of me and you better stand back because I'm going to give that thing a real nudge and you are going to look at me and go, wow, that's a lot for one person to eat. Because I do love a snack. But then when I'm in my normal everyday life, I'm not much of a snacker. I just kind of am a three meal a day person.

But when I go out to somebody's place, then I'm like, really? Like, let's just push the boat out here. So all this is to say I just don't have a very sugar intense kind of household.

Olivia's not really had much sugar at home at all.

The sugar that she's had really is when she's at school and it's like a birthday or she's out with other people, if other kids are getting an ice cream, whatever, yep, 100%. I'm like, go for your life. But at home we don't really do that. And so I was kind of wondering, what the heck do I do about Easter?

You will be pleased to know if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, that I did go the Easter hat parade this year because I was like, okay, she'll know I'm not there and when I turn up, she'll be really excited. Like, this will be a big deal for her. And it was great. Like, I still think it is an absolute dog act that they put it on at 2:15.

That has been done on purpose. Because the idea that you have to leave your kid again at like 3:15.

Most parents, even when they need to go back to work, are going to go, this is actually too hard to leave my kid again. I did have to go back to work in the afternoon. And so I said to Olivia, when she said, are we going home now? I said, oh, mommy's got to go to work.

And then she goes, oh, will you come back later and get me. And I was like, my child thinks I'm gonna leave her at daycare.

So then I was like, okay, what about if Mommy brings you home and Mommy has to do like some work in her room? If I put on a movie, are you okay to let Mommy work in her room? And then she was all excited.

And then we went home and she watched a movie while I got all my work done in the other room. But I just thought, put it on at 4pm, you know, because when I walked out and one of the educators was like, oh, you're taking her home?

I was like, yeah, that's what you guys plan for? That's what you guys planned for? Yes, I'm taking her home because it's 3:15 and I feel terrible leaving her here.

And she was just made me feel guilty about it. Now I'm like, I'm gonna make this work with her at home because I can't walk out on her again. This is very, very difficult.

Anyway, it was lovely to see her do a little walk around. She was so jazzed and I was like, cheering her on and she was so excited and like looking and waving and oh, God, it's so cute.

Because essentially they're walking around the playground like they're literally. It's not even a parade. It's like one lap of the jungle gym. But you can tell, you know, she's like, oh, I'm doing something special here.

I don't understand kind of what it is, but I know I'm kind of walking around and everybody's doing it and I'm participating and Mummy seems really excited and she's like, clapping me on and like, oh, wow. You could just tell she was really proud of herself. It was very, very, very cool. So that was awesome.

And then we kind of rolled into Easter weekend and it is just quite incredible the amount of people that just randomly give your child chocolates over that period. So we had quite a few kind of unprompted, Can I give her a chocolate gifts? And I am not the mum who's gonna say no.

Because it's like the shade that you get from people when I know they're trying to be kind and nice and generous.

I would say that it's often an older generation that can't get their head around the fact that you wouldn't be giving them chocolate or that they can't have 950 easter eggs and that you'd be fine with it. So I'm always like, yep, that's totally fine. It's not the end of the world. What's a few Easter eggs here and there?

But I can tell you right now, Saturday we ran into quite a few people that gave her eggs. On Saturday afternoon, I saw a side of my daughter I have never ever seen.

I was watching her going, oh my God, this is what parenting would be like if I gave this kid sugar. She was on one. Like, I don't even know how to describe it, but I was like, just calm down.

Now sometimes I find when you're talking to people about the fact that you don't really give your kids sugar often the thing that comes back at me is a version of, oh, don't you want them to have any fun? And I think to myself, f you. My kid and I have so much fun. We actually have a really great time. We're laughing all the time.

She's so excitable and like keen on things and you know, we go and do stuff and she just like, she's an excited kid. She loves to do new stuff, loves to go somewhere, loves to have things on the to do list. So we have a great time.

And she also loves food and gets really excited like by things like raspberries, you know, and stuff that is good for her but still has the same level of excitement as if I was giving her some kind of treat. And the vibe that I saw from her on the chocolate overdose afternoon, I'm like, this is actually not a child having fun.

This is a child who's having some kind of mental issue.

Like this is an overstimulated sugar pumped brain that's kind of like not having a calm, great, happy time like we usually do, but is sort of on a roller coaster high that I'm not quite sure she's going to get down from. I was like, is this kid going to go to bed tonight? Like she was just off.

And I just thought, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to to cop this eye roll from people who make me feel bad for not wanting to put shit in my child that makes her act like that. Like you have a chocolate something every now and then you go to a party and you get a lolly bag. Like it's so fine.

But I actually am not going to feel crap anymore or guilty or silly. No, that's probably a better word for it, silly.

I feel silly when people come back at me on that kind of stuff because it is always very, oh, you're one of those. I'm like, mate, I am not one of those. I'm not one of those.

I am just trying to shove as much stuff into her little body that's going to give her little brain the very best chance of rolling through while also giving her all the fun and joy and excitement that she needs. I. I am confident that my kid is having a great time without chocolate.

And if that's the only way I can get my kid to have fun, well, I'm not working hard enough.

I often also wonder whether people have an issue with you not giving your kid chocolate because they feel like you're judging them even though you've not said anything like that. Like, sometimes it feels to me as though the eye roll or the, oh, you're one of them.

Is them feeling like you're telling them not to do it or that you don't think that they should do it. I don't care what other parents do. Friends of mine give their kids Easter eggs. Great.

And I was actually talking to my best mate about it this weekend. And because they've given their kid, like, a couple of bunnies or whatever, and they just sort of let her eat bits of it bit by bit.

But when I was explaining to her why, I just was like, actually, I'm just gonna not give her any Easter eggs. And I ended up giving her a couple of books for Easter, which she's, like, asked me to read 700 times. She loves them.

Like, we've gotten so much more joy out of two books than we would have got out of a couple of Easter eggs that are gone in a second. But she was saying to me, oh, yeah. When my daughter was Olivia's age, like, a year ago, she could not quite handle the chocolate situation.

Now I feel like when I give it to her, she handles it a lot better. And I was like, okay, great. When we get to that age, and I feel like, you know what? This isn't such a problem.

It's actually something that, oh, great, and we'll have it, and that's exciting. And also, when she knows about the Easter bunny and all of that kind of stuff, like, a lot of people were saying it to her over the last few days.

Is the bunny coming this weekend? Did the Easter bunny come this weekend? And she just kind of looks at them like, I mean, I saw the Easter bunny at daycare, and I shat my pants.

Whoever it was that was dressed up as the Easter bunny came in, and she just wanted to cuddle me the whole time because she was scared.

She does the same thing when the Santa comes into daycare, you know, same time when anybody comes in, she'll be on somebody's lap going, get me away from that weird thing. So she sort of doesn't have the concept of the whole thing yet. She doesn't know you wake up in the morning and something should be there.

You know, she switched on, but it's kind of not a part her. I want this to be happening, and I'm disappointed I didn't get anything.

And like everything I've said through the whole parenting thing, if disappointment's going to be attached to this, I will lean in heavily.

If she's like, oh, I thought I was going to get something for Easter, and Mummy didn't get something feast, or you can be damn sure Mommy's getting something for Easter, because there's no way, if she thinks that's what happens, that I'm going to let her down like that. But at the moment, I'm just like, you've had four eggs over the weekend. I do not.

I did not like the version of you that was rolling around on Saturday afternoon.

I don't think your brain liked the version of you that was rolling around on Saturday afternoon because it literally looked like your gray matter was screaming at me saying, get this crap out of me. So for right now, we are just going to sit tight, and once things shift into gear, that's when I will do what needs to be done. But for right now, no.

And if you're one of those people that looks at other people not giving their kids chocolate and things, just steady on with the eye roll, that kind of gear of like, oh, here we are. What do you feed your kid? Grass? No, I don't feed my kid grass. Get over yourself. You know, because I'm not pumping her guts full of crap.

I'm being cuffed by the fun police. Like, get over yourself. You know, it's just so not fair. And then the fact that I felt silly, like, I really am really interested in your perspective.

Like, if you are a parent that is like, no, go on the chalky. Do you often feel weird about it? Do you get judgment for it? I also feel the thing about not introducing these things that are not necessary.

Like, that's the thing for me, it's not necessary. I can absolutely have my kid be happy and joyful and engaged and interested without having sweets. Be a part of my life.

Although the other day she did say to me, sit down or you won't get a treat. And I was like, who is saying that to you? I've never in my life used food or a Treat as a bargaining chip.

And I was like, are they saying that to you at school? Like, I don't feel like that's the vibe at school either. So then I'm like, is there another kid that's saying that to you? Like, no.

But at the moment, I feel like the more I introduce Sugar, the more she's gonna want it.

And at this point in time, where she's completely like, whatever, like, she'll eat what's in front of her, but she's not like, why aren't there any chocolates in the house? Why haven't we got more biscuits? No, she hasn't got a clue. She's just like, whatever sits in front of me sits in front of me.

Why would I introduce it at that point and make it an option on the menu when it's not that good for her? It really doesn't do anything for her at this point in time. It doesn't do anything for me, particularly at, like, dinner time.

What am I giving her something sweet at dinner time when she's not going to go to bed. Like, why wouldn't I keep it out? I'm not going to ban it forever. I'm just not introducing it now because I'm just like, we.

She's got all the time in the world to eat shit.

So at least right now, when she has no idea that this shit exists unless the shit is in front of her face, I am not going to put the shit in front of her face. I, in my mind, feel like that is good parenting. Everything in moderation.

If we're out and about, I'd never deny her or tell her in front of other people. No, everybody else can have that, but you can't. And that's the most important thing in that situation is, like, that feeling of not being left out.

Rather than, like, the sugar, whatever.

It's just like, yeah, I want you to feel like you can enjoy things with other people, but at home, I truly just feel like this is the best thing to do for her and her brain and her body and stop making me feel bad about it.

Not you personally, but if you are one of those people who looks at somebody who doesn't give their kid chocolate and think that they've got a shaman in the backyard and they're bleeding into their herb garden and whatever, like, you know, we can be normal, too, and maybe not want to give our kids chocolate, okay? It doesn't mean we've got three heads and we're chanting ourselves to bed. Okay? It's all right. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Really, really interested because very keen to know if you've felt judged by the fun police and how you think about it, because I just ain't got time for that. Thanks so much for listening. If you are enjoying this show, I would love it if you shared it with someone who you felt would enjoy it as well.

And please reach out to me on email. I love to hear from you as well. You'll find the email in the description of the episode.

And if you are in chocolate giving phase, which I know I will be in the future, then I truly hope the sugar high has left your children and things are back to normal. Cuz holy crap. I saw a glimpse of it this weekend and it wasn't pretty. I'll see you next week.