My first (real) Christmas

Rachel: 00:02

Merry Christmas. If you celebrate Christmas, if you don't, Merry Wednesday. Why am I doing a Christmas episode? Because who doesn't want to sit on their own in their house with a pair of antlers on while the kid's asleep and talk to a microphone?

God. I've just. Did you hear that? I've just realised I've put these antlers on for video purposes and now I've heard...

And I'm really not going to deal with that the whole way through the episode. So let's just take these off for the moment. That was supposed to be a good idea, but audio first guys.

So I thought I'd do a quick Christmas episode and do a bit of a break in regular programming because obviously the next couple of episodes fall over Christmas day and New Year's day. And I think there's a lot around those two days and this specific time of the year that you really start to think about when you've had kids, when you are doing this on your own, when you're not doing this on your own. It's just one of those times that a lot of people have different feelings about. Some people love it, some people hate it. You know, some people have really mixed memories of it. And I think when you start your own family, my big thing when I was younger was I couldn't wait to start my own family because then I would be able to create my own Christmas traditions. And in the last probably 10 or so years,Christmas has kind of just passed me by and I don't mean that in a sad way. I just, it's not really being that much of a big deal. I look at other people going and having their big family do's. I have absolutely no FOMO. I would say as a person, I just do not have FOMO. I used to have it in my twenties for sure, but therapy, I tell you, I'm going to talk about it a lot on this show. I can't recommend it highly enough. It has completely removed FOMO from any fibre of my being. I never get it. I'm not interested in it. I would never be looking at somebody's photos of them having a good time on Instagram and say, I wish I was there. I will always say, God, I'm glad I'm home.

So I never looked at people's big Christmas things and thought I wish that was me. And I always had really quiet Christmases. It was, you know, my mom lived away before she passed away. Then she passed away. And then I was looking after my dad for a lot of years. My sister lives overseas.

It would just be usually my dad and me for lunch. And then I'd come home and just hang out in the afternoon. And honestly, that was one of my favourite days of the year because nobody wants you. Nobody's interested in you. Everybody's got plans. Everybody's got things to do. And so for me, it is the truly most relaxing day of the year because I can sit down. There's nowhere I could go. Everything's shut. I couldn't go and achieve anything. I couldn't go and do anything. I couldn't go to the gym because everything's closed.

So there is nothing more for me to do than sit on my ass guilt free.

So for me, that was Christmas for a lot of years and I really enjoyed it. This is the first Christmas that I have with no parents anymore. My father passed away in January this year. So it's the first Christmas for me and Olivia on our own. And I'm really excited about it because let's be honest, last year didn't count. She was almost one, i.e. a blob and had no idea what was going on. And she didn't get any specific Christmas presents because she didn't know what they were.

So why am I going to sit there and force her to open something that she doesn't even, she can't even see it? I mean, she could see it at the time, but she just had no concept of Christmas. So it wasn't really very fun. Whereas this year she's obsessed with Christmas trees and she's obsessed with Santa. And I've gone from having no Christmas trees ever in my adult life. Ever since I moved out of home, I've never had a Christmas tree.

And I've now got two, because I had one that I put some baubles and some tinsel on and some lights. And then I went to Bunnings the other day and there was another little one with lights on it. And I thought that'll look great on the table. And now she runs between each of them, getting so excited that the lights are on. And so now it's really feeling exciting and something that I am ready to kind of celebrate. I didn't not celebrate it previously because I didn't want to or because I felt sad about it. It just was like, I just want to sit on my bum bum and do nothing. But now when you see how excited she gets about things, it's really, really cool to be watching that and exciting to know that that's only going to get better with each and every year.

I also think back to when I was younger and you know, Christmas was going back and forth after the divorce, sort of having not a great time. And I remember thinking to myself at that time, I cannot wait until I have a family and I can create my own Christmas traditions. And then there was all those years in between that I was like, who cares about Christmas? So I sort of forgot about the fact that there was a time that I did feel like I wish this was a better day for me.

And so now when I think back to that, I'm like, wow, I'm here now. I'm actually at the point where I get to do this in the way that I want to do it. And I'm going to tell you right now, I mean, I might eat my words and be doing this in a year, but at least right now, right now, me is like, I am not, and I'm going to say it this way, in case you're listening with the family in the car, I'm not inviting Elf On The Shelf over to my house because once he's a house guest, he never ever leaves.

And the amount of effort that it takes to assist him in his mischief. No, I will not be up at 3 a.m. pouring fruit loops out on the floor for him to fall over in.

Not gonna happen, not gonna happen. But I can do whatever I wanna do in this Christmas tradition. And I think Christmas, if you are thinking about being a solo mom, and you might've envisaged it in a different way, maybe with a partner. I could also see how this time might feel like it could be, I don't know, maybe a feeling of loss for some people, I guess. But I don't want nobody here.

I think the magic of just being able to celebrate it with my daughter and me and to start our traditions and do things that we want to do together. That's really, really exciting for me. And there is really nothing better than seeing her excited at something so silly as like a Christmas light, you know?

We have some Christmas lights near us. They've got the whole blow up they've got, they've got half of Bunnings out on their lawn, literally. I look at those things and I'm like, thank you so much for doing this because my child can come and sing jingle bells with your blow up Santa for 45 minutes and drive me insane. Actually, no, it doesn't drive me insane at all. I'm the dancing moron there who's dancing along while she sings jingle bells. But I look at that and all I can think of is the pack up and the pack down.

I don't, the Christmas cheer doesn't push those thoughts out of my mind. I'm just like, this is a job for an Airtasker. This is not a job for me. God, the time, the storage, all of it.

Anyway, anyway, I just wanted this to be a bit of a quick episode just to share some of my thoughts about Christmas day. I really do hope that you are having a wonderful day if you celebrate it with family or on your own, if you're somebody who just enjoys that. And if anybody's ever looked at you like that is sad, tell them to go away. It is truly the greatest version of Christmas and enjoying being on your own on Christmas day. There is nothing shameful about it. I listened to some of the garbage that goes on from friends of mine who have the couple situation where they don't necessarily get along with one parent and they've got to go in between the two and they're going to three different or four different houses on Christmas day. And I'm like, I mean, that sounds like hell on earth. Meanwhile, Olivia and I probably laying back in a lilo together, having a cheeky margarita, hers with no booze in it, obviously, just enjoying each other's company. And that's what Christmas should be all about.

I will see you next week for the New Year's Eve episode. I'm going to look back on the last couple of years and talk about some of the things that I'm not sad to leave behind. People always say, don't wish it away, don't wish it away. But I'm like, I'm sorry, there's some stuff that is really good in the past. And that I'm happy I'll never have to deal with again.

So those are some of the joyous reflections I'm going to be touching on for New Year's Eve. Merry Christmas. I'll see you next week.