Episode 40
Reprise: We're weeing on the toilet
Well. That changed quickly.
In yesterday's episode I was mid-toilet-training fog, genuinely unsure of how we were ever getting to the other side.
Then in between recording and that episode going live we've somehow managed to get ourselves in undies. And we're using the toilet.
We are officially toilet trained!
So, instead of erasing over yesterday's episode I wanted to keep that in as a marker of how bloody lost I was in this whole process only 5 minutes before things changed.
Consider this a Disney-style 'Reprise' where we come back for a little update to show that sometimes things feel impossible, right up to the moment they aren't.
This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wangal people, of the Eora Nation.
I pay my respects to Elders past and present.
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host: Rachel Corbett
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Transcript
I bet you didn't expect to see me so quickly in this feed.
Speaker A:And if you've read the title, you've thought, my God, what a legend.
Speaker A:She's solved it in less than 24 hours.
Speaker A:I didn't.
Speaker A:But consider this like in a great Disney movie, that wonderful reprise of the song that comes in after a little bit more exposition in the story.
Speaker A:And all of a sudden you think, oh, I thought that tune was over.
Speaker A:But not here we come for round two.
Speaker A:Because I record a little bit ahead of myself for this podcast because otherwise the damn thing wouldn't get out, that's for sure.
Speaker A:And a lot can change in a mere 24 hours, let alone a week.
Speaker A:And I thought to myself, you know what, maybe I will just record a new episode for yesterday.
Speaker A:But then I thought, no, no, no, I want to actually capture that.
Speaker A:How the hell am I going to get out of this mess spot that I felt in?
Speaker A:And then I'm going to do a little quick update for you.
Speaker A:If, like me, you find yourself in a spot like yesterday's episode where you are like, I'm never going to get to the other side of this.
Speaker A:There is no way out.
Speaker A:I cannot think about how we will ever get through to a toilet trained child.
Speaker A:Hang in there, hang in there.
Speaker A:Because my kid is now toilet trained and the difference happened in a week.
Speaker A:I want to step you through it because after I recorded that episode, something about saying it out loud, you know, telling other people that really makes you think, I gotta get my together.
Speaker A:And so I got straight onto chat jpt and I was really trying to nut out what to do because I was starting to think I am holding this kid back.
Speaker A:And there were a couple of things that changed it for me.
Speaker A:The first was daycare.
Speaker A:Let me, let me just give you this suggestion and recommendation.
Speaker A:If you are in a position where the daycare ladies are more than happy to have your not toilet trained child in their care in a pair of underpants, then you take that opportunity up and you send that kid to daycare in underpants.
Speaker A:That was the first step because we transitioned to a new room at the beginning of this year and previously I had asked them if I should send her in undies.
Speaker A:And she'd stayed quite late, like past two and a half in the nursery room because of her birthday.
Speaker A:It kind of missed the cutoff.
Speaker A:And so the nursery room, I mean, we don't do undies in here.
Speaker A:There's no toilet in there.
Speaker A:They're not interested.
Speaker A:So it was a firm no.
Speaker A:And to be Honest, I moved into the next room, which is the toddler room.
Speaker A:Just assuming that they don't want to deal with your toilet training.
Speaker A:The reality is, no, it had nothing to do with that.
Speaker A:It was just that that room was not equipped for that situation or situation if it happened.
Speaker A:Whereas the toddler room is like, we got a toilet in here.
Speaker A:Like, you can peel you like around here.
Speaker A:So it was really the daycare saying to me, if you want to send her in undies, with a look of, why isn't she an undermance yet?
Speaker A:She's 15.
Speaker A:I said to them, is that an option?
Speaker A:Like, all right, I'll do it.
Speaker A:So that was kind of on the Friday of a long weekend, and I thought to myself, right, I'm going to try and do it this weekend and see how I go.
Speaker A:So Saturday morning we woke up, I had four pairs of undies in the house from the Christmas present my best mate had given my daughter of the bluey undies.
Speaker A:Let me be clear.
Speaker A:You need more than four pairs of underpants in your entire house if you are going to decide to toilet train your child.
Speaker A:It was 9am and I was already on the way to Kmart with a nappy on my child because we'd gone through all four pairs of underpants.
Speaker A:So it was not happening.
Speaker A:I was also trying really hard when we were at home to keep asking her, do you need a wee?
Speaker A:Do you need a weed?
Speaker A:Do you need a wee?
Speaker A:And she was saying, no, no, no.
Speaker A:And then at a certain point, she actually got quite aggressive in the pushback.
Speaker A:I would ask her and she'd be quite upset about it.
Speaker A:Again, I was asking Chatgpt about this and then that was saying, if you're asking her, she doesn't quite understand what it means to go yet.
Speaker A:So that's a lot of pressure on a child.
Speaker A:So really, you should be more direct about it and say, it's toilet time now, we're going to the toilet, not asking all the time.
Speaker A:So I made that mistake for a while because I'm just like, well, isn't this what I'm supposed to do?
Speaker A:But actually, as we went through the motions, it became really clear, like, pretty quick, oh, you actually can't even feel what's going on.
Speaker A:And she would wet herself and she wouldn't even.
Speaker A:It was like she didn't even know.
Speaker A:Like, she would be standing in a puddle away.
Speaker A:And I would say, oh, your body did away.
Speaker A:And she'd be like, excuse me, what are you.
Speaker A:What are you talking about?
Speaker A:So anyway, I Was trying to set the timer.
Speaker A:You know, it said ask every hour.
Speaker A:So I'm making the mistake of asking every hour.
Speaker A:But it did not matter what I set my watch to, she would always piss 10 minutes before I was about to ask the question.
Speaker A:So the first time I set my watch for an hour at 45 minutes, she pissed all over the couch.
Speaker A:The next thing I thought, okay, I'll set my alarm for 45 minutes.
Speaker A:At 35 minutes, she pissed all over the car.
Speaker A:It was like, are you watching my watch?
Speaker A:Are you seeing the moment that I think to my.
Speaker A:And it was always at the moment that I thought to myself, maybe I should just ask now.
Speaker A:Like, no, no, no, I'll wait till the timer goes off.
Speaker A:And sure enough, she'd roll over on the couch and I'd look at her, I'd be like, that's a large puddle of moisture that's underneath you.
Speaker A:Did we, we.
Speaker A:She's like, no, I don't know.
Speaker A:I tried at that point also kind of, you know, taking her to the toilet to say, okay, let's finish it in the toilet.
Speaker A:And then she got really upset about that because of course she finished it on the couch.
Speaker A:So why would I want to go to the stupid toilet?
Speaker A:So our Saturday was just not a show, it was a we show.
Speaker A:It was just everywhere, all over the couch.
Speaker A:I had the baking soda out, the spray of the vinegar and water.
Speaker A:I was just like, this is an absolute nightmare.
Speaker A:I had those covers that you put on the mattress to protect it on each of the couch cushions because I thought that was really smart.
Speaker A:She pissed through both of them.
Speaker A:I only had two of them.
Speaker A:So then I took a punt.
Speaker A:I'm like, here's, here's the hot tip.
Speaker A:Do not try and toilet train your child and put her in underpants and expect her to go to the toilet when you've put a movie on.
Speaker A:Like, am I an idiot?
Speaker A:What am I actually thinking?
Speaker A:Oh yeah, she, this two year old has the presence of mind to concentrate on something that is all absorbing and also register when her tiny body wants to do a wee.
Speaker A:Like just moronic, you know.
Speaker A:Anyway, so that was Saturday, the afternoon I thought, let's get back into the pull ups because we are just absolutely going nowhere here.
Speaker A:And we'll take a little rest and relax.
Speaker A:We'll take our foot off the brake, we won't pump it.
Speaker A:She was getting upset about the asking to go to the toilet, right?
Speaker A:We won't push the issue Sunday.
Speaker A:I get up, we get up.
Speaker A:I'm like, let's Try this again.
Speaker A:At this point, I'm actually really chuffed that she's excited about undies.
Speaker A:When we had that mishap on the Saturday and we had to go to Kmart to buy new undies, I asked her to choose her undies.
Speaker A:And so then, you know, we get up, I'd be like, pick which ones you like.
Speaker A:And she was really excited about undies.
Speaker A:So that was massive, massive progress actually getting her in undies because, you know, that was actually a hard transition for me up to a certain point.
Speaker A:But Sunday morning we're like, let's try this again.
Speaker A:Same thing happened.
Speaker A:P. No poo anywhere but on the toilet or in a nappy.
Speaker A:Thank goodness.
Speaker A:I've never had a poo explosion with her when she's actually been outside of baby stage that she's always been fine about.
Speaker A:And she will go to the toilet and do that or do it in the nappy.
Speaker A:So there was no accidents anywhere.
Speaker A:But it was just really clear that she just wasn't getting that mind body connection.
Speaker A:And I was sort of, again, sort of count being counseled by chat.
Speaker A:Jbt.
Speaker A:I was sort of trying to work out, like, is this too early?
Speaker A:Like, she's almost three, right?
Speaker A:Like, I know it's not technically via age too early, but I was like, I can't understand how this kid is ever going to ask me to go to the toilet if she can't even tell she's done away.
Speaker A:Like, if she can't tell she's done a wee after it's happened.
Speaker A:Like, maybe that connection between mind and body is just not there yet in terms of the sensation.
Speaker A:So maybe we should back off it.
Speaker A:So by Tuesday, daycare day, I was like, okay, I've packed like five pairs of clothes.
Speaker A:I've done, you know, three mornings in a row.
Speaker A:You know, I've.
Speaker A:I've called it in the afternoon because we.
Speaker A:It's kind of gotten a bit much and I didn't want to push it too hard.
Speaker A:But if you want to go for your life, go for your life.
Speaker A:Now this is where daycare is the real gift.
Speaker A:The real gift, because they're used to kids being and pooing all over the joint.
Speaker A:They don't worry about it.
Speaker A: ay, she was in a pair of like: Speaker A:And I thought, okay, all right.
Speaker A:I went home with seven bags of washing and I thought, right, okay, this is.
Speaker A:We're just gonna have to pump the brakes on this.
Speaker A:I'm just gonna give it a break and we're just gonna park it.
Speaker A:Wednesdays, I'm with my kid.
Speaker A:I think we might have tried it in the morning that day.
Speaker A:Same kind of thing.
Speaker A:Thursday, it's a daycare day again.
Speaker A:Now, Saturday is when I put her in undies properly for the first time.
Speaker A:It is now Thursday.
Speaker A:I said to them, I've packed everything you need, but here's where we're at.
Speaker A:I don't think she's registering in terms of brain and body.
Speaker A:Like, I'm more than happy if you think it's comfortable for her to do it and you think it's fine.
Speaker A:I don't want her to feel like she's failing.
Speaker A:So I just thought maybe, you know, I'll.
Speaker A:I'll move back on it.
Speaker A:She's kind of getting a bit antsy when I ask her if she wants to go to the toilet or, you know, say it's toilet time.
Speaker A:So I'm like, there's just a bit of ick around this, so let's just call the jets.
Speaker A:So I come to pick her up from school.
Speaker A:I haven't looked at the app.
Speaker A:I arrive, she's wearing the same clothes she was when I dropped her off.
Speaker A:Fantastic.
Speaker A:I put her in the car.
Speaker A:I lift her up to put her in the car, and I'm like, what the.
Speaker A:I don't feel a nappy.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:You've got a pair of underpants on.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:And then I'm like, oh, my God.
Speaker A:God.
Speaker A:The daycare is closed.
Speaker A:She's in underpants.
Speaker A:My car is clean.
Speaker A:Don't panic, don't panic.
Speaker A:We're only 10 minutes from home.
Speaker A:I'm sure we can make it.
Speaker A:I was white knuckling that whole ride home, thinking to myself, I don't know how to get the COVID off the car seat.
Speaker A:I don't know how to wash it.
Speaker A:Like, this is a disaster waiting to happen.
Speaker A:I'm like, oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:Did you have a great day?
Speaker A:How was your day?
Speaker A:La la la la la.
Speaker A:Trying to keep positive at this point.
Speaker A:I haven't even looked at the even know what's happened today.
Speaker A:I just know my child is in underpants.
Speaker A:And I'm like, is this Some cruel joke.
Speaker A:You have kept her in her nappy all day and then you're like, let's put undies on her and let her mom go home with her.
Speaker A:We get home, no accidents in the car.
Speaker A:We walk up the stairs, we get all the way up to home.
Speaker A:She asks me to go to the toilet and I'm like, okay.
Speaker A:She says, I'm about to do a wee in my undies.
Speaker A:And I'm like, okay.
Speaker A:So we walk up the stairs on the toilet and she goes to the toilet.
Speaker A:I run outside, I look at the app and she's been on the toilet all day doing all her poos and wees at daycare.
Speaker A:And I'm like, yesterday I thought, this, we've gone too quick, it's too early.
Speaker A:This is never going to happen.
Speaker A:This is not right.
Speaker A:And today it's all changed.
Speaker A:Friday, I send her to school in undies.
Speaker A:At that point, I actually took her to school in a nappy because I still wasn't confident we could make it that far.
Speaker A:But they changed her right out into undies straight after.
Speaker A:And all day, totally fine.
Speaker A:The Saturday, I went to sports class because I was like, this is too brave.
Speaker A:This is too brave.
Speaker A:I put a nappy on her and I saw one of the kids, other kids that she's really good friends with, and her mum was there and she's quite a bit younger than Olivia, and she mentioned something and I was like, oh, my gosh, is she in undies?
Speaker A:Is she toilet trained?
Speaker A:And this mum was like, yeah, we just started this week.
Speaker A:And I was like, and you're in sports class in underpants.
Speaker A:Like, what if she weighs everywhere?
Speaker A:And she's like, oh, my partner, I tried to put a nappy on it today, but my partner was like, I'm sorry, once they're in undies, you don't ever put them back.
Speaker A:And I was like, oh, my God, she's in a nappy.
Speaker A:Because I got too scared.
Speaker A:So I was like, right, that's it, okay, we're not doing the nappies anymore, except at night.
Speaker A:And I swear that was it.
Speaker A:It was done.
Speaker A:We might have had two accidents and that's it.
Speaker A:She's toilet trained.
Speaker A:She goes out sometimes for like two and a half hour stretches.
Speaker A:I think was the longest one we did where I asked her when we were out, she peed.
Speaker A:When we left home, I asked her when we were out whether she wanted to pee.
Speaker A:She said, no, no, no.
Speaker A:And then by the time she got home, she peed when we got home and there were no accidents.
Speaker A:I'm just like.
Speaker A:I cannot tell you how utterly shocked I was that in the space of a week it was done in less than a week.
Speaker A:From Saturday first exposure to undies properly to Thursday really being the.
Speaker A:From that point on it was like it totally shifted.
Speaker A:And now that's it, we go out, she goes to the toilet, she is absolutely, unbelievably fine.
Speaker A:I only have nappies at night.
Speaker A:I don't have to buy nappies all the time.
Speaker A:It happened, it happened.
Speaker A:And it can happen for you too.
Speaker A:I just had to update that because I just would never have thought in a million years I could ever, ever, ever get out the other side.
Speaker A:And I think if I had my time again now, if I ever had another child, which I can't imagine that I would, I would just be braver about getting into the undies because even though it looked like she wasn't registering, it was clearly that process of actually feeling wet that was like now I starting to understand.
Speaker A:And even though for the first few days it felt like this is not computing for this child, it actually was slowly sinking in.
Speaker A:And then all of a sudden it clicked and that was it, she got it.
Speaker A:So I think that was.
Speaker A:Yeah, I just would be braver if I tried to do it again.
Speaker A:But at the same time, I think waiting until I felt like she was ready, that was also a good idea because she was much easier to communicate with, much easier to kind of help her comprehend, understand, talk things through.
Speaker A:And I spoke to one of the mums at our music class today and this was another reason where I was like, I'm going to come home and record an episode and drop this to kind of do a bit of a sum up.
Speaker A:Because she was where I was almost a year ago.
Speaker A:Olivia, in the middle of music class today, got up and said, I need to go the toilet, and walked out and went to the toilet.
Speaker A:And I was like, oh my gosh, you know, we're in the middle of a distracting environment.
Speaker A:She's doing this.
Speaker A:This is fantastic.
Speaker A:And so after the class, his mom came to me and said, oh, is she toilet training or is she toilet trained?
Speaker A:And I was like, well, this is a very recent occurrence for us.
Speaker A:Like somehow we're toilet trained.
Speaker A:And she was talking to me and looking at me with the exact same sort of how the hell do I get thereness that I was in?
Speaker A:And she had a two year old that was kind of just two.
Speaker A:And I just said to her, like, honestly, I waited until was two and a half.
Speaker A:She was Two and a half to even think about it.
Speaker A:Then I pushed it a bit further back and really only sort of got the sticker chart and did things at two and nine months.
Speaker A:Then I took my foot off the gas and felt really bad about it and guilted myself into it back when she was almost three, and now she's almost about to turn three and we're there and it's totally fine because she's done it in her time.
Speaker A:But I remember being at that age at 2, and everybody's like, you got to do it now.
Speaker A:You can't leave it too late.
Speaker A:If you do leave it too late, they'll be paying the bed all night and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker A:And this is going to happen and this is going to be terrible.
Speaker A:And it's like, do what you can do for your life, for your child.
Speaker A:You will get there, you know, you will get there and you will know the right time for you.
Speaker A:And there will come a point where, for me, I just was like, okay, I've got to just rip the band aid off on this.
Speaker A:And I just felt more confident.
Speaker A:The weekend that we did the undies, I was like, I can do this, I can do this.
Speaker A:If I tried that three weeks ago, I would have been like, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker A:I don't want to do this.
Speaker A:I don't know what to do this.
Speaker A:There was just something about it.
Speaker A:But I felt so much pressure as well, back in that early stage of, like, two to be like, get this over and done with.
Speaker A:But I was looking at her kid and I'm like, you, kid.
Speaker A:Like, I remember when my kid was like that.
Speaker A:Like, my kids having full conversations now, you know, like, it's just such a different experience.
Speaker A:And some kids at that age, you'd be like, yeah, no worries.
Speaker A:Like, you know, I was talking to one mom who was like, oh, she threw her nappy off at one and a half and, you know, or whatever.
Speaker A:And you're like, every kid is totally different.
Speaker A:But in my situation, I felt so much pressure, I thought I was too late doing it wrong, doing her a massive disservice.
Speaker A:And it's like, you know, at one point it will click in, it will click in and it will happen so quickly and you will get to the other side.
Speaker A:And you, five days earlier, would have thought to yourself, I cannot imagine a world where this is ever going to be possible.
Speaker A:But bugger me, bugger me, we did it, we did it.
Speaker A:She did it.
Speaker A:And moments like today when she's like, I want to go to the toilet.
Speaker A:And I'm like, do you?
Speaker A:This is thrilling.
Speaker A:This is so thrilling.
Speaker A:Like, it's so cool to watch her, you know, accomplish that and feel proud of herself.
Speaker A:And, yeah, one of the things that the chat GPT told me to lay off was the laying it on thick in the applause kind of department.
Speaker A:And I was like, I'm sorry, Chat jpt, but if I want to give my child a little bit of high five encouragement because she's learned to evacuate her insides into a toilet bowl instead of on my couch, I'm going to get her excited about it.
Speaker A:You know, they're like, oh, you know, you don't want to make too much of a big deal.
Speaker A:I'm like, listen, shut up.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:You might be copying all of my mental low right now as I try and unpack things with you because there's not someone else here in the house.
Speaker A:But if you're not going to tell me that, I'm not going to give some pops and balloon kind of encouragement to my child if she's learning how to toilet train.
Speaker A:All right, today actually, she was sitting on the toilet and she said to me, I'm not a baby anymore.
Speaker A:I said, that's right, you're not a baby anymore.
Speaker A:She said, I'm a big girl because I'm toilet training.
Speaker A:That is absolutely true.
Speaker A:So if you are on the side that I was yesterday, according to this podcast, but in the timeline of real life, definitely not yesterday, a few weeks ago, then you will get to the other side.
Speaker A:Hang in there, white Knuckle it when you need to, but have absolute faith that the undies are coming and the nappies will no longer be a part of your life and you will feel really good about it.
Speaker A:Thanks so much for listening.
Speaker A:Twice in one week.
Speaker A:I appreciate that.
Speaker A:I know that time is very precious, so thank you for joining me a second time and I will see you next week.
